Random Balleryna

undersunshinepylons:

• If you can’t decide whether you are actually ‘celebrating’ or simply engaging in artificial gestures of relief, take two drinks.
  
• If you can’t tell whether you are an overly-strict person with inappropriate guilt about normal human self-moderation behavior or an avoidant adult child making excuses for your poor coping, drink.
  
• If you feel persistently like you are failing to grow up, drink.
  
• If you can’t tell whether a certain youthfulness in others represents an admirable refusal to adhere to repressive social norms or an actual inability to deal with difficult adult challenges, drink.
  
• If you aren’t sure what it is right to expect of yourself, drink.
  
• If you aren’t sure whether you are repeatedly failing to reach a personal set of behavioral goals or simply consistently feeling inadequate no matter how hard you work, drink.
  
• If you aren’t sure whether you need to ‘lighten up’ or employ more self-discipline, drink.
  
• If you aren’t sure whether you do or don’t want to talk to your friends about it because you aren’t sure whether you are a reasonable person experiencing occasional insecurity or a neurotic person who cannot be soothed, drink.
  
• If you suspect you might not even have much reason to be unhappy and in fact just overthink everything and lack a stable internal compass, drink.
  
• If you think you might just feel lost because you drink too often, but then you think too much when you aren’t drinking, cry.
  
• If you’d rather not think about this kind of thing right now or maybe ever, take two drinks.
  
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